‘I deeply regret marrying Humphrey’ (1)

 

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Paulina and Humphrey got married despite all odds. She saw the signs that should have prevented her from marrying the man she described as ill-tempered. It was after having two children for him that it dawned on her that she made a mistake of her life.

“People who knew Humphrey advised me not to marry him because of his hot temper. They said he had a huge problem controlling himself when he was angry and would fight anyone who provoked him not caring if it was in the public. Aside from that, they also said that he was arrogant and autocratic. His words were like laws that must be obeyed. I heard all sorts of negative things from his friends who spilled all these because they pitied me. But I married him and ignored all that they told me. I noticed his anger but he never touched me. Rather, he would prefer to tear his window blinds, break flower verse or anything he laid hands on,” Paulina said in a low tone.

One other person that advised her not to marry Humphrey, even before her wedding was Elizabeth her mum.

“My mother had a special gift of studying someone within a short space of time. I could remember when I brought Humphrey home for my parents to see; my father, a jolly good fellow was busy telling him how he loved to smoke pipe and special tobacco and why it is better than cigarettes. But my mum was busy studying him even as he responded to my dad’s discussions. When he left after spending some time with my parents, my mother called me into her room and spoke to me at length. She started by telling me that Humphrey would not be a perfect husband for me. At that, I snapped reminding her that there was no perfect husband anywhere, and that I would marry him.

“She didn’t stop talking even when I got angrier. She continued and mentioned same vices Humphrey’s friends talked to me about. My mother pointed out that he looked like someone controlled by his temper aside from being arrogant.

“Any man who is highly temperamental can beat his wife when he is provoked. Be careful my daughter’

She added that I would abscond from him some years after marriage. “Paulina my daughter, a fly that refuses to hearken to advice follows a corpse into the grave. Leave him now, the right man would come. I was able to study this man and I’m sure of what I’m saying. What an elderly woman sees while sitting down, you won’t be able to see even if you climb an iroko tree,’ she said, holding her ears.

“But I refused to listen to my mother and followed my heart;” she said.

What really deafened Paulina’s ears over every advice she got concerning marrying Humphrey was his good looks.

“Humphrey had all that I was looking out for in a man. All the qualities of my dream man are in him; mere looking at his physical package. But the problem was that he lacked manners, he never knew how to pamper a lady but he was ready to give you what you need to run his home - food allowance in particular. So, I believed with time he would change. He wasn't stingy with money. He was ready to buy me whatever I pointed at if he had the money and that was what mattered most to me. I married him, jettisoning all that I heard. It was just a few years after marriage that I realised that all that mattered most wasn't just money. I found out that Humphrey was the type that would shout me down not caring who was watching. I started noticing that all that my mother warned me concerning him was just manifesting bit by bit. I regretted not listening to her. I couldn't even complain to her or open up to her because she would blame me. I decided to be enduring it and dying in silence.

This continued until eight years when I was really tired of enduring. I first complained to her secretly. She asked me if I was no longer in love. That was her first question to me because that was what I told her when she complained about Humphrey. I told her I was in love with him and would never listen to anyone who was ready to dissuade me from marrying him. But when I noticed some other sides of him, I couldn't stay with him after having two kids for him.

*To be continued.