‘It hurts watching my hubby mourn his girlfriend’ (parts one and two)

A model

Maureen and Benson got married some ten years ago and their marriage had never been blissful right from day one. “My marriage had never made me happy, though people used to think the opposite because I pretend a lot. I had complained severally to my mother, (my number one confidant),  how I had longed to take a walk out of  it but her advice and words of encouragement had kept me on.

“Then of course my three children were like strong chains that tied me down in Benson’s house even when he cheated on me without remorse. Infidelity runs in my hubby’s blood like a stubborn virus. Right from the first year he wedded me was when I noticed he still kept his strings of girlfriends. And not even my pleas could make him stop. When I was advised to hold on to God strongly, that it would make him stop, I started making church a safe haven, yet he couldn’t stop. There was a period I tarried before God in prayer, so much that my pastor said to me that God would have called  my husband to glory because of what he was doing to me but that He didn’t want to make me a widow,” she recalled.

“I took my pastor’s statement to him and he was scared. He ran to meet him and pleaded with him to help him change. That time it looked as if he had changed but he didn’t. Rather he started making his extra marital affairs discreet. I never knew he was still in his normal escapades until I discovered he was dating a young lady who was selling recharge cards just opposite my house. I’m sorry to say here that when it comes to women, my husband doesn’t have a taste at all. Anything in skirt goes for him. He wouldn’t mind dating a housemaid, a salesgirl or anybody as long as the person is busty. I say this because a lady I once employed to be helping me clean my house, three times a week, was also sleeping with my husband in my absence. When I caught them red-handed, the lady started confessing that it all started one morning when she came to clean my house as usual ‘and Oga was in the house with his three children. He locked up his children in their room and came to where I was cleaning the cushions and pushed me on the cushion, tore the zipper of my skirt and pounced on me. When I wanted to shout, I suddenly discovered that I couldn’t because in the process I started liking what he was doing to me. That was how everything started Madam. Please don’t be annoyed.’

“She said it before my husband who never said a word. What he did was to pay her off and told her not to come again. But I knew the affair never stopped at that, they continued but it was no more happening in my house,” she stressed.

Though Benson had been making adequate provisions for his family, but his major problem had been women. He was an unrepentant womanizer. “He had never failed to give me feeding allowance, gifts when necessary especially on our wedding anniversary and on my birthday. He loved his kids and showered them with love and affection.  But my hubby’s major shortcoming still remained women. I wouldn’t know if that was a curse. When I took this very complaint to his father who married three wives and kept them in different states of the country, he only told me that I should go home and thank my stars that Benson had been marrying only me for the past ten years and that no woman had shown up and accused him of being the father of her child. I was short of words when I heard that.  It was his first wife (my mother-in-law’s) advice that made sense to me. He told me that I shouldn’t worry so much over that nor loose focus. That no matter how a man frolicked around like a Casanova , he would still end up on the laps of his loving wife when the chips were down.

“She really spoke to me at length, counseling me gently and she prayed for me and blessed me before I left. But even after reporting him to his parents, Benson had never cared to relent.  The one incident that made me shed tears for weeks was the report a neighbour brought to me. She came warning me to tell my husband to leave her 21 year-old- undergraduate daughter alone so that she could concentrate on her studies. She honestly shouted at me angrily but I was short of words when my husband didn’t deny it.  He heard when the woman was shouting at me. It was only when the woman had gone that he started saying that the woman’s daughter was the one giving him green eyes and that when he approached her, she welcomed him. That I should have asked her if he forced her daughter on him. When I heard that, I broke down. I cried myself to sleep only to wake up at the wee hours of the morning to pray.  I was praying in tears, from the bottom of my heart, pleading to God to take my husband and that I was ready to be a widow and mourn him because the shame he was bringing to me  was much.

“I didn’t know he heard me when I was praying. He heard all that I told God in prayer. When I was done, I saw him kneeling down before me for the first time in ten years, asking for forgiveness.  He begged me to go back to God and cancel the death pronouncement I made on him. That he was willing to change. He promised never to hurt me again. That if he should die now, it would be an untimely death because he was just 45 and that I would suffer as a widow with three children on my neck. And that I should remember that widowhood in our society had an ugly face and that I should please go back on my knees and reverse the curse.

“He pleaded with me and made me believe him. I then forgave him and held him close to my chest.  There on the spot, I started praying for God to forgive him. I continued praying, when he started shaking as if he wanted to convulse, I was scared and I took my hands off him and he fail on the floor while I ran away and  watched him from a distance. After a while, he came round and was saying that he felt very light while I was praying and suddenly, he didn’t know what came over him,” she said.

Unfortunately, just after a few months, “my hubby went back to his vomit. He decided to be dating just one out of his numerous girlfriends. He got her a house somewhere in Shasha, Lagos, sparsely furnished. As if that wasn’t enough, he sent her to a fashion school and he was the one paying her school fees. I went back to my mid night prayers as well because I relented in prayers when I thought he had changed. And just when the girl had graduated, something tragic happened.”

To be continued 

Part  (2)

Here is the concluding part of Maureen and Benson’s story started. Benson had been battling with his shortcoming/habit which was womanizing even before he got married. And Maureen his wife hadn’t been finding it funny. Below is the rest of their story.

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Unfortunately, just after a few months, “my hubby went back to his vomit. He decided to be dating   Florence, one of his numerous girlfriends who was known to be rude to her parents  according to neighbours. He got her an apartment somewhere in Shasha, Lagos, sparsely furnished. As if that wasn’t enough, he sent her to a skill training center where she was learning how to cut and sew. He was the one sponsoring her training. When I heard on the grapevine that my husband was head-over heels in love with her, I went back to my mid-night prayers because I relented  when I thought he had changed. And just when the girl had graduated, something tragic happened.”

Florence, had the best result in her school. That was what warranted a celebration she never lived to witness the end. “My hubby who was good at celebrating success and good things of life took her out later in the evening after her graduation ceremony  and they both lodged in a cozy hotel somewhere in Ajao Estate, Lagos,  far from where we were residing. According to him, he wanted to spoil her silly with love and care because she did excellently well in exams and graduated in flying colours. So, they lodged in a suite in that three star hotel but while she was leaving her Shasha, Lagos residence, she forgot to take her inhaler with her.  Florence was asthmatic and she never went anywhere without her inhaler except that very night my husband took her to celebrate her success. So, while they had dined and wined, they went to Silverbird galleria at Ikeja and watched some movies before coming back to the hotel.

“Both were gorgeously but  casually dressed because a neighbour’s younger sister  who was at the Galleria to watch movies saw them and called her elder sister and told her about my husband and how he was dressed with his girlfriend. I was heart broken when my neighbour ran to me and told me. She encouraged me to hold my peace until he came back. I waited patiently until he came back after three days,” she recalled.

When the two lovebirds came back from cinema house to their hotel suite was when the Devil threw in a spanner that quaked the relationship. Guess what happened? Benson scurried into the bathtub to have a warm bath. The night was cold and he was in the habit of soaking himself in warm water in the bathtub for almost an hour. “That was what he used to do at home too. He said it was therapeutic. When I heard he did that in the hotel room where he was lodged, I wasn’t surprised. My husband could stay in the bathtub for almost an hour when he wasn’t going to work. According to reports, that was what happened in the hotel suite. So, while he was in the bathtub, his girlfriend started having severe asthmatic attack but she forgot her inhaler at home.  So, while Benson was in the bathroom, she was battling with asthma. Breathing was like a tug of war. She managed to crawl down from the soft leathered cushion she was seated on to the bathroom for help. It was indeed difficult to breath.  She wriggled on the floor for over 45 minutes. It was a herculean task crawling from the living room of the hotel suite to the bathroom. And Benson was never aware of what was happening. He was relaxing in the bathtub for the warm water to soothe his aching bones and joints. When he stepped out of the bathtub, he stood before a wall mirror still in the bathroom and ran his fingers on his jaw, cheeks and armpits checking if his shaving was smooth.  He really spent some time shaving. He didn’t know what was happening to his babe whom he was getting set to ‘devour’ because the music from TV speakers was playing very loudly.

“When he eventually   stepped out of the bathtub, he was shocked when he saw her on the floor wriggling for help. He knew she was asthmatic because when she confided in him and told him her health conditions, he never failed to buy her inhaler. He rushed to get her inhaler, turned her luggage upside down, including her handbag and wallet looking for it, he didn’t see it. He suspected she must have forgotten her inhaler at home. So, he hurriedly dressed up and rushed her to the hospital and that was where she was certified dead,” she said.

Benson eventually came home looking harassed, In fact, pensive! “Immediately I saw him, I knew he had battled with something bigger than him. His eyes were swollen showing that he had cried for hours. When he dropped his suite case, he went straight to his bathroom and locked himself in there while I waited in his room. I was annoyed before he came in because I got the report of his escapades with his girlfriend from a neigbour. But when I saw him, I couldn’t ask him anything because I knew he wasn’t himself. I could hear him crying in his bathroom, that was when I tapped on the door. He hesitated at first before he opened and I saw him sobbing like a little boy. I knew he went in there because he was avoiding me, he needed some privacy. When I asked what was wrong, his answer even shocked me the more. ‘She died, hmm, she couldn’t make it!  Florence is dead! Maureen do you know Florence is dead’?

“He asked me as if I knew the so-called Florence too well. I was dumb-founded because he was confused. Totally confused, flabbergasted is the right word. I listened to him as he narrated his ordeal.”

‘She battled with asthma for some time while I was having a warm bath. We were in a hotel somewhere in Ajao Estate to celebrate her success.  I never knew she would die. Oh God, is that how one could die? Just like that? Maureen do you know you can easily die? Anybody can die at any moment. This is a shocker honestly. This world is vanity.  I’m astonished! How would I break this sad news to her parents? How would they withstand the shock? Huh Maureen, how?’

“I was short of words. I had myriad of questions running riot in my brain concerning his discreet affair with his late lover. I didn’t know he was so serious with her that he already knew the girl’s parents. In my mind, I told myself that it was his cross, let him carry it. But honestly, it really hurts me watching my husband mourn his girlfriend. He gummed her picture on his bed and when I complained that he was over doing it, he fumed and said I was a wicked soul. ‘Maureen, I now know you are wicked. The person that died was a good friend of mine. Show some pity for goodness sake. It wasn’t a dog that died, a soul passed away. Who knows if you were not the person that killed her. Because lately you have been in the habit of passing death pronouncements on people in your prayers. You nearly did that to me, remember?  Please leave that picture there, after all it’s my bed that I gummed it on and not yours. Leave me alone, get out of my room, so that I can  pick the pieces of my life.’

“At that, I walked out of his room and left him alone. But it really hurts watching my husband rejecting  my meals all because  his girlfriend died. Where is my stand in this marriage for goodness sake? This is absolutely nonsense!”

Readers, you have heard Maureen’s question. Please advise her.