'My hubby is now a bully'

‘Oh God save me!  My hubby is a bully’ (1)

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When Roseline and Edward got married, little did she know that a few years after their marriage the devil would throw what looked like a spanner into their marriage. “I didn’t know I would have that kind of problem, that would require even neighbours to rush in to rescue me from his punches and grips. 

The only person who warned me in confidence was amiable Evelyn, the wife of Edward’s brother.  She had always liked me even while Edward and I were courting.  We would sit together and chat but she had kept something from me until after my engagement party. She called me to the balcony of Edward’s house the night after my engament party and counselled me about something she had been hiding from me. She told me that the very problem that ran in the family of Edward was anger, severe anger, uncontrolable anger that usually make them  use their fists. She told me that her husband Kelvin, (Edward’s elder brother) had same problem. She raised her blouse and showed me some marks on her body due to bruises Kelvin inflicted on her while battering her angrily. She reminded me of the very time she had a black eye and I was asking what happened to her. She said it was one night when Kelvin came back from work and he hunked for a long time but because she was in the toilet, she couldn’t run to open the gate for him. And that delay resulted in a serious beating. ‘Therefore my sister just be careful so that you don’t annoy him. I learnt from his mother that his father had same problem. That his mother was regularly  beaten by theor father   that she decided to go back to her father’s house. Even as we discuss this now,  she is still lives there. I go there once in a while to visit her. She was the one that gave me same advice that I’m passing down to you now.

‘You may not notice it now that both of you are courting and had just engaged. You may not even notice his anger in the next couple of  years after marriage. But don’t be deceived with that. The anger is right inside his foundation. If you had been careful, you must have been noticing the traces.’ Evelyn said. “Her advice made me remember some stories  Edward told me concerning the way he flogged his houseboy who  fled without carrying his luggage.  And how his gate keeper ran away one day leaving his gate unlocked after beating him up mercilessly. He told me that both people angered him so much that he had to deal with them. And that soon he would employ people to replace them. I took that lightly. My mind wandered off to the discussion  his driver had with his friend at the petrol station when he was asked to drop me home. I overheard when his friend was asking him how he had been managing to drive Edward that psycho, that  ill tempered young man. That he had driven him before for months and that  the way and manner he fumed at  him each time he was angry made him resign unceremoniously. I was listening with rapt attention,” she said.

When Roselyn eventually  moved into Edward’s house as his wife, what Evelyn warned her about started surfacing. “It wasn’t even up to one year when I started receiving  slaps from him anytime he was provoked. I gradually started becoming scared of him. I wasn’t feeling at home when he was around. My matrimonial home was only a safe haven when Edward traveled out of town  for weeks but when he was home, I would always trade with caution.  Nobody knew what I was facing in my marriage. But I didn’t know his neighbours who knew him more than me were observing us. They had known him for beating his girlfriends before he married me. So, when we were courting, they expected same incident, where I would perhaps give out a loud cry like the rest did, but nothing of such happened. He never hit me when we were courting. He started after our wedding and because I didn’t want my neighbours to know, I would endure his punches without crying out. The first person I ran to was Evelyn when it started. She advised me to travel home to see his mother, my mother-in-law whom I only saw once and that was on my wedding day. I agreed and went from her house after staying two days with her,” she said.

It was seven hours drive from Lagos to Enugu-Ukwu where Edward’s mother was. When she got there, she didn’t introduce herself to the woman and she recorgnised her at once. She hugged her and first accused her jokingly for not coming to see her all these while. “Sit down my daughter let me give you water to drink. But you don’t look happy. I know you are troubled but drink water first. You would take your bath, eat and sleep. Tomorrow morning we would talk okay? Close talks are better done early in the morning by then the brains must have rested enough, okay?” Roseline nodded, fighting back tears.

*To be continued next week

 ‘Oh God save me!  My hubby is a bully’ (1)

When Roseline and Edward got married, little did she know that a few years after their marriage the devil would throw what looked like a spanner in the holy matrimony. “I didn’t know I would have that kind of problem that would require even neighbours to rush in to rescue me from his punches and grips. The only person who warned me in confidence was amiable Evelyn the wife of Edward’s brother.  She had always liked me even while Edward and I were courting.  We would sit together and chat but she had kept something from me until after my engagement party. She called me to the balcony of Edward’s house the night after my engament party and counselled me about something she had been hiding from me. She told me that the very problem that ran in the family of Edward was anger, severe anger, uncontrolable anger that usually make them  use their fists. She told me that her husband Kelvin, (Edward’s elder brother) had same problem. She raised her blouse and showed me some marks on her body due to bruises Kelvin inflicted on her while battering her angrily. She reminded me of the very time she had a black eye and I was asking what happened to her. She said it was one night when Kelvin came back from work and he hunked for a long time but because she was in the toilet, she couldn’t run to open the gate for him. And that delay resulted in a serious beating. ‘Therefore my sister just be careful so that you don’t annoy him. I learnt from his mother that his father had same problem. That his mother was regularly  beaten by theor father   that she decided to go back to her father’s house. Even as we discuss this now,  she is still lives there. I go there once in a while to visit her. She was the one that gave me same advice that I’m passing down to you now.

‘You may not notice it now that both of you are courting and had just engaged. You may not even notice his anger in the next couple of  years after marriage. But don’t be deceived with that. The anger is right inside his foundation. If you had been careful, you must have been noticing the traces.’ Evelyn said. “Her advice made me remember some stories  Edward told me concerning the way he flogged his houseboy who  fled without carrying his luggage.  And how his gate keeper ran away one day leaving his gate unlocked after beating him up mercilessly. He told me that both people angered him so much that he had to deal with them. And that soon he would employ people to replace them. I took that lightly. My mind wandered off to the discussion  his driver had with his friend at the petrol station when he was asked to drop me home. I overheard when his friend was asking him how he had been managing to drive Edward that psycho, that  ill tempered young man. That he had driven him before for months and that  the way and manner he fumed at  him each time he was angry made him resign unceremoniously. I was listening with rapt attention,” she said.

When Roselyn eventually  moved into Edward’s house as his wife, what Evelyn warned her about started surfacing. “It wasn’t even up to one year when I started receiving  slaps from him anytime he was provoked. I gradually started becoming scared of him. I wasn’t feeling at home when he was around. My matrimonial home was only a safe haven when Edward traveled out of town  for weeks but when he was home, I would always trade with caution.  Nobody knew what I was facing in my marriage. But I didn’t know his neighbours who knew him more than me were observing us. They had known him for beating his girlfriends before he married me. So, when we were courting, they expected same incident, where I would perhaps give out a loud cry like the rest did, but nothing of such happened. He never hit me when we were courting. He started after our wedding and because I didn’t want my neighbours to know, I would endure his punches without crying out. The first person I ran to was Evelyn when it started. She advised me to travel home to see his mother, my mother-in-law whom I only saw once and that was on my wedding day. I agreed and went from her house after staying two days with her,” she said.

It was seven hours drive from Lagos to Enugu-Ukwu where Edward’s mother was. When she got there, she didn’t introduce herself to the woman and she recorgnised her at once. She hugged her and first accused her jokingly for not coming to see her all these while. “Sit down my daughter let me give you water to drink. But you don’t look happy. I know you are troubled but drink water first. You would take your bath, eat and sleep. Tomorrow morning we would talk okay? Close talks are better done early in the morning by then the brains must have rested enough, okay?” Roseline nodded, fighting back tears.

*To be continued next week