‘My sister in-law has destroyed my marriage’ (1)

A model

When Philomena and Thomas got married, all was well for some years. But no sooner had his sister come to live with them than things started changing in their relationship.

“I have been married for five years without a child, yet my marriage was blissful. After a while, I started praying concerning my situation but the more I did, the more it seemed as if my problem was increasing.

The issue started two years ago when my husband lost his job. He came home one evening looking worried. When I asked him what the matter was, he didn't utter a word. He only handed me an envelope containing his sack letter. While he was trying to undress, my mind wondered off to what would become of both of us. He had been on suspension for some months without pay. It was when we thought he would be recalled that he received a phone call that he had a letter in his office. He rushed with the hope that his suspension had been lifted, only to come back with a shocker,” she said.

When Thomas was sacked, things became tougher for him and his wife.

“It was so tough that it was difficult for us to eat. He couldn’t give me feeding allowance as he used to. I understood his situation because I never knew him to be stingy. I tried to see what I could do for us to feed. I started begging for food from my sisters in the same church. Besides, I told them that I would be coming early in the morning to sweep their compounds so that I would be paid some money. I had six women in the church that I usually swept their premises. Gradually, I was having some money for feeding and was able to raise more with which I used to begin a small business. I started petty trading in my neighborhood. I was lucky that my husband’s one-time school mate allowed me to keep a small table in front of his big shop. He wasn't collecting rent from me, but I usually sweep the premises of his shop in the morning before I display my wares,” Philomena said.

That was how she and Thomas managed while he went in search of another job.

“We had no problem apart from the fact that he couldn't run the home or pay the rent as he used to. We owed a year’s rent, but our landlord’s lawyer understood our plight and pitied us. That was the situation we were in until my husband’s elder sister was driven from her matrimonial home with her two sons. She had no place to stay, so she came to squat with my husband. No one asked for my opinion, else I would have reminded my husband what he said when my younger sister came at a time to stay with us. Veronica, my younger sister, is a very ugly girl by nature. She took after my father who wasn’t good-looking as well. At times, I used to wonder why my mother, a very beautiful woman, should marry him in the first place. Her countless reasons she gave didn’t make any meaning to me. I later understood from villagers that my father was a loving and caring man who pampered my mother silly. Aside from being ugly, Veronica had an inherent cough. She inherited it from my dad too and it was because of her looks and the cough that made suitors to avoid her. When she came to my house to live, she was happy that she had left the village for good to stay in the city, so she bragged to her village friends. Even after explaining to my husband that her cough was not contagious, he refused to allow her stay. But when her elder sister came with her two sons, I didn’t remind him how he vowed never to allow anyone related to me or him to live with us. His sister took two rooms out of our three bedrooms because of her sons. I had to share the master’s bedroom with my husband.”

When Charity came with her two sons, she took total control of affairs in the home.

“She is very domineering by nature. She took over my kitchen and it appeared as if I was a stranger in my home. First, she rearranged my kitchen without telling me. When I came back from my petty trading business, I was shocked because of the changes in the kitchen. When I asked why, she snapped at me that things were better placed the way she kept them. She parked my pots into a carton and kept them inside the store. When I complained, she asked if I was not ashamed of my pots. That they looked so outdated like pots that are seen in a remote village. She warned me never to cook her brother’s dishes with such pots. What pained me more was that she was the one cooking for my husband. Whenever I came home, he would tell me to look for what to eat, that his sister had prepared dinner for him,” she said.

Philomena kept her peace even over things she considered insulting from her sister-in-law.

“But I endured until my patience snapped one night when I came home tired. She asked how much I was making from my petty trading business that I couldn't settle down and see if I could give her brother a child first. She said it disdainfully. I flayed up and gave her a piece of my mind. Sadly, my husband sided with her, and I was beaten up. Thomas had never raised a hand to beat me until his sister came to live with us,” Philomena retorted.

·      To be continued in part 2 soon