'My husband is now interested in his son’s mother'

Theo and Philomena were best of friends before they became husband and wife.

“Though he was my friend, I didn’t know I would end up marrying him because I did so when I had no interest in marriage. I hated the idea of settling down at the time I did because my two elder sisters’ marriage didn’t work. My parents were heartbroken when their union crashed. They had three of us, all girls and when the first two suitors came, they accepted them wholeheartedly and looked up to them as sons they never had. But when my most eldest sister came home crying, that her husband had thrown her out of the house and travelled out of the country with their two children, we were puzzled. It wasn’t long when my immediate elder sister’s followed. She dumped her marriage when she discovered that Rex her husband already had a wife and three children, who were residing in Ghana. My sister said she wasn’t cut out to be anyone’s second wife,” she recalled.

Consequently, when Theo came to marry Philomena, she wasn’t ready to accept him. She was scared as she didn’t want her parents to die early.

“Mama was ill when my two sisters came home. She started having high blood pressure and was placed on regular drugs. She looked pale and frail. We all thought that mama wouldn’t make it until Theo who was just my friend was allowed to visit the family and started praying for her. Ours is a family that goes to church only three times in a year – on Christmas day, Easter and cross over night – which was a vigil to cross over into the new year. My father believed it was only necessary to be upright before God and men. He would remind us to always keep our hands clean. To avoid committing abortion, that it was murder before God, never take things that were not ours, that God frowned at that. The 10 Commandments in the Bible, he used to teach us at home. We strove to abide by them. We didn’t know that wasn’t enough to keep all the problems of life at bay until mama fell ill and Theo started visiting us. He would counsel the family about the efficacy of prayers, but my dad who wouldn’t listen because he felt Theo was too young to counsel him. And then he would pray for us, especially for mama. From his prayers, my mother became stronger and all of us joined him in his church. We never missed Sunday service and mid-week prayers,” she remembered.

“When Theo asked to marry me, I hushed him. I reminded him of my two sisters’ case and that I wouldn’t want to add to the predicament of my family. He only told me that he would be praying for God to reveal His mind concerning our marriage. He suggested taking three of us (my two sisters and I) to special prayers and deliverance. We never knew that normal people could go for deliverance, we thought it was only mentally retarded women that were meant for that until we got to the deliverance ground. We prayed some acidic prayers and backed them up with three days dry fasting which helped to reveal a lot of things concerning my family to us. Two weeks after our deliverance, Edwin, my elder sister’s husband who threw her out and travelled to Australia with their two children, came home begging her to take her back. She went back with him. Then my immediate elder sister, who came home because Rex her husband already had a wife and children intensified her prayers. She had some prayer leaflets which were given to her. She prayed them in the wee hours of the night. As a result of Theo’s standing in my family, my father advised me to look into his marriage proposal, that I shouldn’t be scared to accept him. Aside from my father’s advice, his constant visits made me develop a soft spot for him. I agreed to marry him,” she said.

Theo and Philomena were living in Lagos where her parents lived.

“My parents were also residing in Lagos but they never visited us. As the last born of the family, they still see me as a child and didn’t want to disturb me and my husband. That was an idea I loved too. Mama said she would come when my first baby arrived. We waited continually for the pregnancy. Nothing clicked. Mama became worried and invited me home. I showed her the fertility drugs which my doctor placed me on and she encouraged me to be taking them. She asked if my husband had started being worried. I told her it was my mother-in-law and his sisters that had started being uncomfortable with my situation. One day his younger sister visited and I asked the girl to boil some rice because I had already prepared the stew and she refused to cook. She rather told me to man my kitchen, after all I wasn’t pregnant yet and that I had no excuse for not being able to cook. My husband warned her sternly when warning that any more of that, she would be sent out of our house.

“Mama, Theo is not seeing it as my problem alone but ours. But the person not helping matters is his mum. She would call, first thing in the morning of every new year, to remind him that all her friends’ sons now had grand children. And she would ask what had been stopping us. Each time Theo was confronted with such questions, he would hang up. That’s the way things have been with me but Mama, honestly, I’m beginning to be worried too. This is my eighth year in marriage and I have nothing to show for it. Mama, who did I offend,” Philomena sobbed.

On the tenth year of their marriage, Theo came home with shocking news which destabilised his wife.

“Philomena (my wife), I had a phone call from someone I didn’t expect. In fact, she travelled home and met my mother who called me on her own phone but handed it over to my strange caller. When I heard her voice, it rang a bell. I recognised her. She was a sister to one of my mother’s tenants. They were living in our rented house. She used to sneak into my room and that very act landed her in an unwanted pregnancy. I denied it when she told me for the fear of being rejected by my father. She was taken to her village by her brother and that was the last I saw her. It wasn’t long when her brother packed out. Now, she called to say that she had the baby eventually, a male child,” he said, his face expressionless.

“When he said that, I knew my world had ended. My heart sank and the first person I thought it wise to call was my mother, my number one confidant. But when I picked up my phone, Theo guessed what I was about to do and hushed me: ‘Please don’t tell your mother this now, you know how frail she is already. Allow her be, we will sort out this’.

“Instantly, I dropped my phone and sank into the soft cushion in my living room and sobbed endlessly,” Philomena bewailed.

• To be continued