If I have to relieve my life, I would still marry a white man-Chioma Toplis, actress

Let people say whatever they like, my hubby would not leave me-Chioma Toplis,  actress

Chioma Toplis is a Nollywood screen diva who has been married to a white man for more than 18 years. She says her marriage cannot crash because I'm is the pillar of her home. In this interview with ADAEZE AMOS this mother of three who has featured in movies such as Plane crash, Common Sense, Proof of Life, Sin City, Woman’s Honour, Stolen Bible, Grave Consequence, Carcass, Trinity, Apostate of Hell, A Better place, Mad Ghost, Zara, Sincerity to mention but a few  talks about her lifestyle and how she handles negative stories about her.

What do you do to look good?

I don’t have anything special but I do normal things a woman should do. I make sure I cleanse my face, wash off the make-up before going to bed. I also ex foliate my face and my body but I don’t normally go to spa regularly. I go once in a while. It is honestly necessary  to look good even at 40. I don’t regularly go to the gym. I just do it once in a while but I watch what I eat, this is necessary especially when one is getting older. You need to watch what you eat because the body system keeps changing. So, you have to do a lot.

How many children do you have?

I'm a mother of three, my son is 20 anyway.

How do you combine motherhood with acting?

I have been doing this since 2004. I mean combining both. This means I have been doing this for 11 years and I have been coping. My children and my hubby have come to understand that this is what I really want to do and they have been so supportive. My hubby in particular has been so supportive although he has been here and there.  He is no longer in London. He is now in Kuwait working. And he has always been like that working here and there. But we talk all the time on the phone and my youngest child is going to be 14 soon.

It was written sometime ago that your marriage was in great turbulence, what actually happened?

I won’t answer this question . I wouldn't want to comment on this. I will allow people to continue to believe whatever they believed. I am tired of talking about this marriage issue all the time, the earlier people start believing that the marriage is broken, the better for us all. I would allow them believe that my marriage is broken, so they won’t come out with the same news all the time. My stand here is anyone who believes that my marriage is broken, so be it, and if they have it in mind that is  still intact, so be it.

Many would want to know the truth from you, don’t you think so?

I have made up my mind that I'm not going to say anything about this any more. I have said a lot about my marriage that it is still intact, yet the rumour still keeps on. It hurts me that every time I come around the country, this issue would be brought up.

A lot have been written about you especially negative stories, how do you feel about this?

Scandalous news hurts especially when it is not even true. What I usually do is to ignore such stories. Whatever anybody says about me does not bother me. It is painful that some people take delight in painting others black even when you are nice to them. It hurts that negative stories come from those I have helped including those I call my friends. Well, such is life and it must move on.

Your entry into Nollywood raised a lot of dust, any regrets about being an actress?

I have so many regrets in life, things that made me feel bad and low  as a human being but then I still forge on.

Divorce is rampant in Nollywood, are you afraid you would experience same some day?

Not for me, no matter how rampant it is, it would never come to me.

How are you sure it won’t be said that Chioma’s marriage with her white hubby has crashed?

I'm sure of the man I'm married to. That is why I'm not bothered when I read stories that my marriage has crashed.  If you tell my hubby that I'm leaving him today, he will commit suicide because I'm the pillar of my home. I stand firm to say that I don’t see my marriage crashing. Let people say whatever they like, my hubby would not leave me. It is me that would decide whether to leave him or not. And I will never leave him because he pampers me silly. Do you know my hubby cooks for me? Since 19 years we have been married, he is the one that cooks for me to eat.

People would think you used black magic power to hold him, don’t you think so?

Yes, people have said so. They once said I used Juju to hold him and I laughed and said yes, the Juju is working. My hubby loves me a lot and some friends who know this even envy me. My cousins who visit me once in a while feel uncomfortable when they see my hubby in the kitchen cooking because it is not common with we Africans. My hubby is a white man.

But what are you doing right to have this kind of a man glued to you?

It is the grace of God anyway, it is not by my power. We have been married for close to two decades. So, the secret is in God’s hands. Then communication is also necessary. I'm always communicating with him. 

When relationships lack communication, problem may set in.

Tell us a bit about your hubby?

My hubby has not been able to manage with Nigerian food. You know I'm Igbo from Umuahia, Abia state. I have tried making him eat our kind of food, but he couldn't because he doesn't like our foods. Likewise me his wife I don’t like their own kind of foods. In this case mutual understanding is the key. English people are more of potatoes all the time. And I don’t like potatoes and he doesn't like my own type of food. But my kids like African foods.

When some Nigerian men see ladies that marry white men they wonder whether they are not capable. Reach out to such men? Do you think white men are better lovers/husbands?

Well, I have never sat down to weigh them but from my own point of view, I feel that every body has got where God has him or her them to be. If God has destined your marriage to be with a white man, you can’t change it. So, I think it has to do with destiny really. Whether white men or black men, we are all human beings and we are all equal. So, I don’t think anyone is better than the other because of colour. I have two of my sisters who are married to Nigerians and they are living well.

When you brought a Briton home to your parents as your fiancé, how did they feel?

They didn't feel bad because I come from educated family. They didn't take that as anything. They accepted him as a human being believing that any where you find your love is where you go.

How about their culture, are you comfortable with that?

They mind their business a lot. They are not nosy over people’s affairs. And meanwhile, they don’t have any culture, so you do anything you like (laughs) as long as you don’t harm anybody. You are cool to go.

If you would relieve your life, would you still marry a white man?

Yes, I would marry a white man a hundred times. Yes, I have been with him for 19 years and I'm still enjoying my marriage.

You do wear cleavage-revealing tops a lot…

My husband approves them all (she cuts in). He likes such tops and he doesn't see anything bad about such tops. That is why when people condemn my style, I don’t talk because he likes it and he wants me to wear such tops. Even up till now he loves to see me in cleavage-revealing tops or whatever you call it. Guess what? My hubby calls me Funky Mama. I know I can’t go out naked but I only flaunt parts that ought to be flaunted. I flaunt my legs and  my cleavage. But I will start covering up a bit because I'm getting older now. I have stopped flaunting a little bit. My style has changed a bit because of my age. We have to dress our age, remember? So, now I'm getting older I still have to dress funky but cover a little bit.

Is your hubby funky too?

No, he is not really funky or stylish and because he is not like that, he wants to compliment, at least his wife can compliment to that. He is not the out-going type, but I am.

‘My hubby calls me Funky Mama and he cooks for me'