It was difficult to quit smoking-Yeni Kuti, late Fela’s daughter

‘There was no time I needed a second marriage’

Secret of my looks

I think the first secret behind my looks is to be happy. Try your best to smile or even laugh no matter what you are confronted with. That is what I do. I try as much as possible to laugh a lot. Then apart from laughing, I try to watch what I eat because even if I start laughing from now till eternity without a good diet you may not get a good result. But I must be honest with you, some months back, I wasn’t eating healthy. I was eating everything I see. But now, I have reduced that. I don’t eat much of junk these days but if I’m very hungry and junk food is what I see, I eat but I don’t eat much of that. Another thing that helps me to keep fit is that I love to dance. Oh yes, I still dance a lot. While doing my dance class I burn excess fat in the process. I dance three times in a week. Twice with the band and once for my dance class where I teach people how to dance Afro beat. Finally, I don’t take my dinner anything beyond seven pm.

My favourite drinks

I don’t drink beer or brandy but I can take alcoholic wine especially Champaign. I drank a lot last night at the party of my good friend who clocked 50 I take soft drinks once in while unlike before when I used to have it have it with every meal. I do a TV show every Thursday so I had to wake up at 4.30 am on Thursday to go for my TV show because it is a life show. So, for that, I have curbed my alcohol intake a lot. I may take it once in a week or twice in a week. Then for smoking, I don’t smoke anymore. I have stopped smoking and I must tell you it was very difficult to stop smoking. I tried for several years to quit but all to no avail. I wouldn’t smoke for like two or three weeks and then I would start all again. Smoking honestly is a very difficult habit to stop believe me. What really gingered me to stop was when my daughter was entering university and I thought it over and said to myself if I continue this my smoking habit and I die in the process before she graduates, how would she graduate? Who would pay her fees? It is only me she has. That was enough inspiration for me not to smoke because I wanted to be alive to see my daughter graduate.

My daughter

My daughter  doesn’t smoke. She has never smoked before and I thank God for that. One thing about me when I was smoking was that I tried not to smoke in front of my daughter. She knew I smoked but I never lighted a stick before her. No, I didn’t do that. I tried to keep that life away from her. So, that wasn’t a role model she would have followed because she wasn’t seeing me smoke. And I don’t agree with one smoking in a room where there are kids or children.

My fears when I clocked 50

Of course every woman nurses such fears. I felt that way. When I was much younger, I used to see anybody who clocked 50 as an ancient person.  Funny enough our kids too see us as ancient (laughs). My daughter, my new[hews would say right in my face that I’m old but I would hush them. You need to see how I shout at them to shut up! One thing about hitting 50 is that you suddenly realize that you have spent more years on this planet earth than you have left to live. When you hit 50 you begin to look at your achievements. 50 is a reality check, which is what made me happy that I have a good business. I may not be rich like that but at least I can eat, I can pay salaries. I’m happy for who I am. I have not realized all my dreams but at least I’m a happy person.

Growing up?

While growing up, I had friends in school. A lot of parents did not like their children mixing up with us because we were Fela’s children. Friends whose parents were very negative for associating with us. (Said in a low tune), They didn’t want their mixing up with fela’s daughter. But then, such reactions were mixed because there were also parents we had some people who liked us and some people that didn’t like us because of who we were. I didn’t dwell on that anymore because that is past and it is gone. Maybe they just thought that being Fela’s children we would be lighting and smoking one big ‘Igbo’ (Indian hemp). But honestly that wasn’t the case with us then. They were very negative minded. And honestly, I felt bad about that. I felt really bad. I don’t think you should judge a person without giving a person the chance to know who she or he is, you just judge by maybe what the parent is doing or was doing. I think that is wrong. If someone’s father is an armed robber, would you say his son or daughter is an armed robber too. My father was a musician and when you look at some of the richest young people today, they are musicians. Now, a lot of parents want their children to start singing hip-hop and make money for them.

How guys reacted to me

Guys didn’t have negative impression of me. The toasters were game. It is only their parents that didn’t just like me. They didn’t want their sons going out with me or dating Fela’s child. There were times they walked me away when I came visiting. There was a particular woman who seriously warned me never to come to her house to visit her son who was my boyfriend then. She was actually very nasty about coming to see her son, I mean very nasty, she didn’t hide it at all. Her son was nice to me and was my boyfriend but his mother didn’t like me one beat because of my father. In fact, she came one day and descended on me when I visited. Oh my God, it was a very ugly scene. Please let me stop so far because I really don’t want to remember it although the whole thing is still fresh in my memory. I want to let it go although (paused).  I still feel bad about it. The whole scenario that happened is still etched in my memory.

When she walked you out of her son’s residence, did you cry when you got home?

No I didn’t cry! For what? Did I cry that I wasn’t proud of my father or what? Or that I was ashamed of my father or what? (With a frown), they are the ones with a problem and not me. I never had a problem. But those kind of things would annoy me but they never made me cry or shed tears. Cry for bloody what? The relationship didn’t continue. We broke up. It didn’t just last. I knew that many atimes many parents didn’t want their sons dating me. That was why I wasn’t keen to meet people’s parents. I was very nervous about meeting people’s parents.

My marriage

Yes , I was once married when I was in my 20s. My marriage then was fine but honestly I wouldn't  want to talk about my marriage. You can ask me about other things but not my marriage because I believe it is too personal to talk about. My ex-husband and I are still very friendly We have a daughter between us. Please let’s leave it at that.

 Trying marriage again

No, there was never a time I was in desperate need of another marriage. But I’m in a very happy relationship and I really don’t think I need to be married to be happy. Our relationship has been going on for a few years. So, I’m not a marriage kind of person. I have experienced it before and I don’t need to experience it again to know that I’m a human being. Or to know I’m a fulfilled woman. I’m quite okay with myself. I’m not missing marriage at all and like I said, I’m in a good relationship. I don’t need to get married to know that I’m happy.

Regrets in life

I don’t like to dwell  on regrets. There are things you would have done that you wished you didn’t do. I don’t dwell on them. I don’t relieve them because there is nothing I can do about the situation. Once it has happened, there is nothing I can do to change it. So, I don’t dwell on it. I just move forward with my life. Regret is a negative feeling that will take you back and I wouldn’t want anything that would take me back.

Passion for dance and my studies

No, I wasn’t dancing till after my education. I started dancing at 27. It is true I danced while I was still going to school but it didn’t affect my education. I first studied Journalism but I didn’t do my finals and that was at the Nigerian Institute of Journalism when it was on the Island. After that, I did a secretarial course at Speed Writing School. I worked for four years before I started dancing. And when I started, it was fun. I loved to dance. I was doing a normal nine to five job when my brother had his band and I left my job and joined the band. There was no much money in it then but I didn’t regret it for one second. I loved it. And each time I was on stage dancing, I was very happy. I was doing what I believe I was born to do. So, I was happy and if you had seen mein those days, I was always smiling on stage. I was happy indeed. It pains me that I’m now getting old but I still dance. I can still wriggle my waist the way I used to then. It is just that I don’t do it on stage anymore because for me, if I do it, a lot of people who watch the dancers are people that I can give birth to. So, I would feel a bit funny dancing for them. That is like dancing for children. I still wish I could dance and go on tour but I have grown to another level.

What level are you now?

Level of teaching others how to dance. I also manage or run the shrine which of course is like a full time job.

What does it take to run the shrine?

You would have to ‘shine’ your eyes else they would cheat you. And I’m very difficult to trust anybody because there were some boys  I trusted and they really did me bad. Now, I don’t trust easily and I’m always here at the shrine almost everyday unless I’m out of town. But I try to make sure I’m here everyday. Running the shrine takes a lot out of you. But I don’t mind that, after all it is my business. It is my job and I wouldn’t want to remain jobless. It is the job I enjoy.

For your staff do you fire once they misbehave?

I don’t sack like that. I give them chance to either change or improve. I’m a bit soft when it comes to sacking. I don’t sack unless I find out that you are cheating me. If not, I love to give people chance to change. My brother even complains about this. He said I don’t know how to sack. I’m just a person that can’t sack much because I have a soft mind. That is why at times they use that as an avenue to misbehave. But what I do is to fine them. My staff enjoy working for me. I don’t carry any matrimonial problem to the work place which is common amongst women because there is no marriage in the first place. I don’t think I’m a wicked boss. If you doubt me, go and ask them downstairs (she points).

What do you remember most about your late father?

I miss so many things about him-his talks, his chats, his music. I loved listening to him and I loved his life shows. I missed watching him every week unless I wasn’t in town. I never missed his shows. There are some things that would happen and I say to myself, I wished Fela was here, he would have loved to hear this. But he has gone a while, so you have to move on unless you want to move into the ground. This reminds me of the time he was being lowered into his grave how one of his wives was crying and trying to enter into his grave. I told them to leave her let’s see whether he would enter and when she was left, she didn’t enter and I told them that all that was just a show. I don’t believe in that kind of show.

You used to call him fela which wasn’t African?

Well you have to tell him that. He is the one that wanted it. We never called him dad right from childhood. We wanted to but he didn’t want that. But calling him by his namer didn’t stop us from relating well with him as my father.

Tell us about your mum?

She never came to watch Fela’s live shows but she loved him until she died. I guess there were some certain things she couldn’t get along with him on. And I think it was mostly his spiritual believes. She didn’t believe in them.

What is your life philosophy?

This is a hard one. I think mine is happiness and honesty. To be alive alone is a thing of joy.