Marriage came and I grabbed it, not missing the opportunity –Kween, musician

 'I want to make heaven; I try to keep the 10 commandements'

Kween Onokala is an afro soul music diva. She studied Public Administration at the University of Abuja. In this interview with Adaeze Amos, the Jebele-Jebele crooner whose stage name is spelt Kween, unveils her style, musical career, life as a mother/wife and her efforts to make heaven at the end of her earthly sojourn.Excerpts:

Tell us about yourself and your growing up.

I was born in Enugu but grew up in Abeokuta, Ogun State. I hail fom Umudashingo in Ohuhu Local Government Area in Abia State. Because I grew up in Abeokuta, I speak Yoruba language very well. My growing up was fun. It was my best years. I had nothing to think about. I was always happy. My parents were providing everything for me. It was a happy young life. My father used to be a soldier who moved to Ogun State as a Warrant Officer. My mum, though a housewife, did some office work as well.

When did you develop the passion for music? Relive your first time as a musician, the motivation and the track that brought you to the limelight.

My love for music started from hearing and listening to it, being in places where music was played like the church and listening to it on radio and the television. It was something that was beautiful, engaging me, something that had beautiful melody and I felt like continuing with it. I just loved it. Well, people said Jebele. So, I think Jebele brought me to the limelight. I was motivated by my experiences, particularly with relationships. I had heartbreak

.

What happened and what did you do to wriggle out of the pain?

I think the first way to avoid heartbreak is not to be stupidly in love. Let me start from this. Watch it when you are falling in love. You should see the signs when someone is taking you for a fool and get out of it when you need to before you get hurt. If you get hurt eventually, it is a pain that has to be there, you have to let it take its course and allow it to heal naturally… with time. What I did to prevent heartbreak was to be wiser. I refused being taken for granted. I guarded my heart so much that nothing penetrated into it.

Is this not easier said than done? Did you refuse to fall in love when someone you admired and want to have come?

Well, this does not concern me anymore. I’m not searching because I have been married for some years now. I’m out of that circle. But of course, life is not a particular pattern; we should be wise enough or equip yourself enough not to fall into same dilemma that you had been through before.

How do you combine your musical career with motherhood and your duties as a wife? Also some husbands get jealous when their spouses are more famous; is yours like that?

I do this successfully because I’m a smart woman and because I know what I want. I’m not fooling myself. Some things have to come in one’s life and fortunately marriage came, I grabbed it and I did not miss the opportunity.

My man is not jealous one bit. I had my life in my music world, he met me that way and he appreciated it and allowed me to be free. Till date, he allows me do what I want to do.

Does he frown at your dress sense…some crazy things you wear at times?

No, he doesn’t. I wear whatever I want to. I can wear the shortest mini in the whole world, he doesn’t frown at that. Whatever I want to wear, he allows me; he is at home with it.

How do you see marriage; is it bondage and what attracted you to your man?

Not at all, why then did I get married? I knew it had never been bondage. If you are spending your life with someone you actually love, you will attest that marriage is sweet. I was attracted by his good heart. He is a very good man.

You are a mother of two sons and your waistline is still intact, what are you doing right?

I don’t know what I’m doing right, I have to be honest with you. I really don’t know because with pregnancies, every tummy goes big. My tummy was too big when I was pregnant. I guess basically the secret is being able to take good care of yourself, eating right and not skipping your exercises, not being lazy because if you sit at a place and begin to eat, you will add much weight.

How is motherhood?

It’s fun…the most fulfilled thing that I have ever done in my life, the best thing that ever happened to me. I enjoy to discipline them, buy them gifts, see them smile and scold them when they misbehave. Everything that has to do with motherhood makes me happy.

Some women fail to take care of themselves once they are married. They feel it’s no longer necessary, what’s your opinion on this?

It is wrong. Before and after marriage, I feel you should look good. A woman should make herself look good because looking good is feeling good. I think it’s something that should come naturally to women.

What are some of your beauty rituals?

Remember that looking good is a gift from God. It’s not just the physical look. It comes from the inside because when you feel good about yourself, good people would want to be around you. You ooze an aura of goodness. For me, the things I like to do to make myself look good and happy is to get enough sleep, take good care of my skin and eat well.

Can you define your style and its signature?

I love clothes that have crimps, like African fabrics, I do that a lot. I also like to fuse western and African prints together. That gives me a unique look.

I think my signature is my hairstyle. I wear a lot of afro.

Where is your tattoo?

I don’t have tattoo on me and I don’t intend to have any. I know it’s somewhere in the Bible that you should not have any mark on your body. You know, me too, I want to make heaven.

You want to make heaven? What efforts are you making towards that?

I try to obey the 10 Commandments. I try to be in God’s presence regularly, listen to His words and pray. In fact, I go to church on a regular basis and I have been this way for long. I follow Christian doctrines. I believe if one does all these, being good to your fellow human being, being the best you can, even if you are not perfect, God will have mercy on you.

For how long have you been married, and what have you been doing right to keep your marriage?

I have known my hubby for over 10 years but we have been married for three years. I commit every day of my life and my marriage to God and He has been sustaining me.

Do you cook for him or you employed a cook?

It is my duty as a wife. I cook for him. No one does that for me. I cook for my kids as well.