My husband has always enjoyed cooking, so… –Joke Silva, veteran actress

Joke Silva, an award-winning veteran Nigerian actress and film director, is one of the celebrated screen goddesses of the Nigerian movie industry. She is the wife of Olu Jacobs, who is also a veteran Nollywood actor. She started acting way back in the 80s when she featured in the popular TV soap operas such as Mirror in the Sun, Second Chance, Mind Bending, Tight Rope, to mention a few. In this interview with Adaeze Amos, she unveils Olu Jacobs, talks about her lifestyle and how she copes with stardom.

Apart from some of the TV soap operas you featured in 1984 to be precise, which other movies have you featured in?

They are numerous but let me just mention the few I can remember for now. Owuro Lojo, Secret Laughter of Women, The Kingmaker, Twins of the Rain Forest, Brave Heart, Jero’s Metamorphosis, The king Must Dance naked, Sister, A Husband’s Wife, Shylock and A Past Came Calling. These are the few I can remember for now.

You are now looking younger than your age, what is the secret?

God’s grace.

There must be some beauty rituals you stick to. Maybe facial exfoliation and cleansing; right?

I don’t do such. I was joking with one of my sisters that we should go and start doing such things. Especially, this one that 60 years old women are looking younger than we are, we have to go and start doing beauty treatments or the facial exfoliation you just mentioned (laughs).

Does that mean you don’t exfoliate?

Well, it’s not as if I don’t exfoliate but it’s not a regular thing.

What are your conceivable impacts on the Nigerian movie industry?

That is not for me to say. It is for others to say. It is like one blowing her trumpet. What I know is that I go about and I do my work and I go and rest when I finish my work. If I have impacted on anybody or on the industry, I will leave that for them to say.

There is high rate of divorce in Nollywood and your marriage has lasted the test of time. What are you doing right?

Let me ask you; is the rate of divorce in the movie industry more than the ones in the other industries? Have you taken a census of what is happening with lawyers? With doctors, with nurses? You don’t know. Everybody keeps talking of the divorce in the movie industry because we are the ones in the limelight. I refuse to agree that there is high rate of divorce in the Nigerian movie industry. And then, my marriage which you said has lasted the test of time is not exceptional. It’s just that we are the ones that people tend to know. There are so many people that have been married years much longer than ours’. There are marriages that have stood the test of time and they abound in other professions. And mind you, making your marriage stand the test of time doesn’t mean enduring all sorts of brutality. I wouldn’t support the fact that because you want your marriage to last, you put yourself under physical and emotional battery. If it is not working, get out fast.

Get out to where?

If you don’t know where you are going, you would know where you are coming from.

To those on the verge of getting married, what would be your advice to them?

It is difficult to advise anybody. But I think what is important is, whoever it is that you are getting married to must be the person you love. The person you can walk out with or discuss your weaknesses with. Then see the other person as your main responsibility. Even before you get married, ask yourself if you are capable of making the person your total responsibility. That as per the person’s happiness, are you willing to dedicate your life to making him or her happy? And it is a two-way thing. It’s not the woman who is supposed to make her husband happy and accept whatever that is done to her, no! Neither is it for the man alone to make the woman happy. It is two of you together and when you do that, it would work.

How do you cope with stardom?

It is an occupational hazard. You learn to live with it. But as much as possible, I try to do what I want when I want it. There is really nothing I can’t do in the glare of everyone. The only thing you will do and you will be hiding is when you are having affair and whether you are a star or not a star, you will hide affair (laughs) but for anything else, I go on and live my life. I mean there are days when your car doesn’t work; if you are able to get a commercial bus, jump inside and make your appointment. Or if there is nobody to go to the market and you need to go, you go. But for me, I don’t enjoy going to market to shop for food items. So, I don’t do it. I have somebody who does that for me. But if I have to, I will go. If there is the need for me to do it, then I will.

Do you find time to cook for your husband?

Well, what we have in my house is different from the way culturally, Nigerians expect women to be. My husband has always enjoyed cooking from the day I met him. So, I have never been someone that was pressured to always cook, I have never been. I cook when I want to. If there is something in particular I want to cook, yes, I could cook, or if there is no one else to do the cooking, I will do it. But when I had a cook, she was the one that used to do it.

How have you been able to keep your marriage?

It is by God’s grace. It is not as if we didn’t have our own challenges. We had a lot of them but God’s grace has been in abundance. His mercies have been so amazing that we have been able to surmount the challenges. We have been able to realise that without letting go of who we are, we are sole responsibilities to each other. We are one nucleus family, my husband and I, including my children.

Can you give a toast to your husband?

Yes, why not. Olu Jacobs is a troublesome human being (laughs), he is amazing, he is charming, he is caring. Olu would work so hard to take care of his family before even remembering himself. In fact, he is an amazing man and I have been blessed.

Any pet name? what does he call you?

That depends on his mood. Sometimes, he calls me ‘Omo’, sometimes he calls me ‘honey’ or any name that comes to his mouth depending on how he is behaving at that point in time. Sometimes, I call him his full name and when I do that one, you know there is ‘Wahala’ (laughs). But he is a wonderful man. He is full of life and fun.

A bit on your style?

I am elegantly casual