Help! Widows in my neighbourhood fight over my husband (2)

We conclude in this edition the story of Alexander and Victoria started last Sunday.

The duo had been married for 12 years and their marriage could have been described as perfect had it not been for the fact that Victoria’s husband had been sleeping with young, beautiful widows. This is Alexander’s major fault!

“I noticed this at first and cautioned him, he promised to stop. But he warned me not to be too pushy about it so that what happened to those women would not happen to me. That statement scared me and I softened. He said he tried to help them as most of them were going through hard times and desperately needed help.

Although I agreed yet must it be young widows in their 30s and mid-30s that deserved his help? That was the question he was reluctant to answer because he usually warmed their beds. The two widows in my neighbourhood did something that baffled me recently,” Victoria said.

She had been trying to cope with what her husband had been doing with widows.

“I couldn’t cope with it. I tried to soft-pedal as my husband warned me so that they wouldn’t shrink back in their closet and cry against me or curse me naked. My husband said when a widow cursed a fellow woman in tears, stark naked, that it was usually effective and spiritually acidic. I dread that so much that I wouldn’t want what happened to them to occur to me.  That was what I dread. Hence, he would tell me while holding his right ear that he wasn’t ready to die, so I should take things easy with them. Even when they visited my husband at home in pretence of coming to give him invitation card for their events, I didn’t complain about that. But what baffled me was the fight two young widows had right in front of my gate. The fight and verbal banter attracted neighbours who listened and laughed. What happened was that one of the widows I knew had been enjoying my husband came with an invitation card. My gate-keeper opened the gate because my husband instructed him that any day any widow came looking for him, he shouldn’t stop the person. One Saturday morning, I was still in bed past 11 a.m. I usually do not wake up early on Saturdays. I thought my hubby was in his study reading newspapers as he was fond of doing. But I was surprised when I saw him chatting merrily with the widow I had been eyeing scornfully for being too close to him. When my man saw me, he invited me to join them take a tea. His visitor greeted me cheerfully and I managed to respond,” she recalled.

When the young widow with Alexander noticed Victoria wasn’t cheerful, she started explaining why she came even without waiting to be asked.

“Madam, I’m only here to give Mr Alexander this invitation card. You too can come. It is specified on the invite. When I wanted to leave, he said I should come in for a cup of tea. The weather had been very cold lately. You never know how lucky some of you whose husbands are still alive are. Cold nights can be awful without a husband by your side,” she said.

Alexander in his usual manner laughed.

“He had always loved dirty jokes which I detested. Vulgarity to me is sinful and dirty to God as the Bible says we would all give account of every word we say. I didn’t laugh at what she said because it wasn’t funny to me. The only thing I understood from what she said was that she had been having my husband on her bed to keep her warm. And because of that she was only a thief stealing care, regards, affection and romance that belonged to me. Most often Alexander would come home tired and wouldn’t be ready to have me all to himself as a husband would have his wife. He would be giving me one excuse or the other. If he wasn’t having headache, he would have body aches or feeling sleepy,” she said.

When Alexander’s visitor noticed that madam of the house wasn’t comfortable with her presence, “she scurried out of my house and my husband followed her. When they got to the gate, another younger widow was waiting and fuming. She was shouting at the one that was sipping tea with my husband. When I heard shouts at my gate, I came out and I heard her clearly. ‘Agnes, you are looking for my trouble all these while. Am I not the one that was sent to bring invitation card to Mr Alexander? But you chose to do so without telling me. Are you not tired of having him? I took you to his office and introduced him to you, now you are having him all alone, all to yourself. All I know is that your ‘thing’ cannot be sweeter than mine.’

At that, the street urchins in my street laughed and hailed at my husband for ‘servicing’ three women. Instead of my husband being embarrassed, he too laughed. He only said that ‘women can be funny! I see them as nature’s gifts to men.’ The urchins concurred and I felt like vanishing into thin air. He begged the two widows not to worry and gave them some money for their transportat fare, promising to attend their event.

How can I cope with this shortcoming of my husband? I love him so dearly that even after deciding to be on my own, he would come, pamper me like a baby, even when you avoid him and tell him off. He would remind me of the marital vows of loving him for better and for worse. I’m not ready to let go, I love my husband though he is now a prey in the hands of young beautiful, widows. How do I go about this? How do I stop him?

• Readers, you have heard her question. Please advise her.  

Lesson of life 20^th Dec

RE: HELP! WIDOWS IN MY BEIGHBOURHOOD FIGHT OVER MY HUSBAND

	10:45 am (1 day ago)

Dear Victoria,

You are very lucky that your husband is not a drunk nor a wife beater, except that he cares and sleeps with young widows in your neighbourhood.  He gives you attention and jokes with your complaints.  I have made a research and discovered that man is polygamous in nature; the three major religion: Islam, Christianity and Tradition, only Christianity propagates one man one wife, while the other two encourage

polygamy.  I guess your husband is a traditionalist and kind-hearted while you are a Christian.

As a wife, you can remould your husband by self-examination to identify what you  are not getting right.  You must dress neatly, decently and sexually at home to overwhelm him. You must also satisfy him in bed, by being  creative and adventurous.  Finally, establish family altar and take him to the church regularly. 

PATRICK ADIASOR

SURULERE, LAGOS

08033452087