It wasn’t easy to get over the death of my baby-Cheesandra Mba Akpan, an actress

Cheesandra Mba Akpan is an actress with Tinsel, a popular soap opera on DSTV. She is also a music diva. The artiste who had been out of public glare owing to the loss of her baby, tellsAdaeze Amos how she handled the emotional trauma and roles she can’t accept, among others.

You disappeared from the entertainment scene for some time, what actually happened?

I got married in June last year but had a baby in December. The baby died in March, two months and 11 days after birth. It wasn’t really easy to get over it, but God has been there. Having worked for a while, because I got pregnant, I had to take a break from Tinsel to come back sometime in July. But for my music career, I have been recording some new stuffs and I’m trying to promote a new single and do a video and push it. For movies, I have gone for some auditions and castings. Because of that break in transmission; if you leave it, it would leave you too, so, I’m trying to come back. Not much has been happening with me.

What kind of music did you opt for?

My own kind of music is pop, together with RnB. The song I want to push right now is titled, ‘A Push To Victory’. It deals with every situation and aspect of life. It’s an encouraging kind of song.

Was it perhaps what happened to you that prompted the song?

Partially yes! Also, I’m a positive person. I don’t let situations weigh me down, no matter what it is. If it does happen, you just movie on. When there is life, there is hope.

What did you do to overcome the pains of losing your baby?

I ran to God; that was what I did. It was not by my power or by my might. I did the crying, lock myself up and refused to talk to anybody, because it was not really easy. I had the baby safely; she knew me, and had started to smile, her name was Onyekachukwu Akpan. She had already got familiar with me and her father, my friends around. So, it was very tough. I couldn’t see people or talk to anybody for close to two months. It happened on March 23 this year. So, I have done a whole ‘lock-up-yourself part’ and then, at the end of the day the friends and family couldn’t console me. It is the kind of pain that only a mother can feel. I have lost a family member, but it was nothing compared to losing a child I carried for nine months and was breastfeeding. I experienced everything, so it was just waking up and there was no child anymore to bathe, feed and pamper. Well, I bless God for everything. I ran to God and He has been helping and making me stronger. When I want to get depressed, I dress up and go to church. There is always some service to attend, something to encourage me. Whenever I go to church, God speaks to my situation somehow. A man of God would pick on my situation, encourage me, give me strength and I move on.

How was your growing up like?

My growing up was beautiful. I had parents that were there for me. I was never deprived of anything. I have no reason to complain. Although I come from a polygamous home, I didn’t lack anything. I’m the fourth child in a family of six children.

What did you study?

I studied Film Production in National Film Institute, Jos, Plateau State. I majored in photo journalism.

Why did you then opt for acting?

Acting took over, but my first passion had always been music. I knew I would not have time to practise journalism, although in future I would like to have my own video firm.

If you weren’t singing or acting, what else would you have been doing?

I would have been a hard core photo journalist because it is something I love to do. I like to take pictures, to caption my pictures correctly and tell stories with them. I love to give situation reports on things.

What are some of the movies you have featured in?

I have always been a TV person and I have never really done a lot of movies. So, I have always been a soap artiste.

Apart from Tinsel, are there some other soaps you have featured in?

I have done many, such as ‘Harmony Estate’, ‘The Situation’, and ‘Tinsel’ but I took a break from ‘Tinsel’. I’m currently on ‘Crack on the Wall’; it’s a local TV soap opera. In the ‘Crack on the Wall’, I played the governor’s wife and then ‘Behind The Smile’, also a local TV soap, I played the role of a nurse. Everything I had done had been soap operas. But, if I get a good script or production for Nollywood, I would accept it.

Are there some roles you wouldn’t accept no matter the amount at stake?

I have never liked anything to do with death and cemetery, because I have very crazy imagination. It doesn’t help me. I won’t accept roles that would have to do with death and cemetery. I don’t like cemeteries, they freak me out. I have a crazy way of thinking. I see an image and I can see it in a million and one different ways that might be negative or positive. I don’t even go there.

Apart from death and cemetery roles, would you accept romance roles?

Romance is okay; it comes with the profession. I’m married now, so I would do it professionally.

Wouldn’t your husband frown at that?

As I said, I’m very deep into morals. I had the necessary upbringing. I’m not fragile; I can do anything I want to. I’m in touch with home. There are roles I wouldn’t accept like a sex scene, but I can accept subtle romance. It is not because I am married that makes me to choose movie roles. That is just who I am. I would not do a sex role.

Would you accept it outside Nigeria?

I do not know. You know those people are white, they see things from a different dimension. But I’m an African. I can’t run away from it. No matter how long I live abroad or travel, I’m black. One day, it would judge you when you come home. There is no point fooling around. When you come back home, they would ask you questions. There are some things you do and at one point in your life you start to regret. And you would be saying, if you had known. Then there is the media, they make and break you. So, you need to have your head examined on time in the industry. Don’t be easily carried away.