Some husbands do not know the value of their wives-Doris Ofokansi, Pastor

‘Husbands shouldn’t remind wives they 're the head, we already know’

Doris Ofokansi, a pastor, Mass Communication graduate of Imo state University is vocal and blunt. She has a ministry that brings women closer to God so that they would be empowered  and established. In this interview with ADAEZE AMOS, this black beauty talks about marriage and where husbands are getting it wrong.

Excerpts:

How would you describe yourself?

I’m a child of God, yes, a minister of God. The name of my ministry is All for God Outreach international.

What is the target of the ministry?

The target is saving souls, drawing people to God, raising them and sustaining them for God’s kingdom.

'Nigerian women are  capable and strong'

In what ways do you think women in your ministry have benefitted  from what you are doing?

They have benefitted a lot from my ministry especially in their marriage. Every man that knows my ministry wants his wife to be part of it because of benefits in the lives of other female members. It is even through men that I get their wives to join the ministry. All the female members of my ministry, I can proudly say are good women; because of what I have been impacting into them.

It’s true that some of them when they joined newly had some funny character but when they started hearing the word of God concerning their attitudes and lifestyles, they changed. Even me the preacher, the words of God that I preach do have positive effects in me. You can’t give out what you don’t have. I practice what I preach with ease.

In your preaching and counseling, you always like talk about marriage, why?

It’s because marriage is important. Another thing is that there are so many problems confronting those that are married. And this is not only limited to Nigerians. It’s a pity that most people do not understand what marriage is. That is why I keep saying that couples need abundant grace of God to overcome marital challenges.

How do you see Nigerian women?

Nigerian women are very capable and strong. But their husbands at times seldom value or appreciate their wives.  Some don’t even know the worth of their wives. That is why  marriages are crashing.

Are you then saying  it’s not always the fault of women when marriage crashed?

No, it’s not always the fault of women. It is Nigerian mentality that when marriage crashes, the woman is always blamed for it. As a preacher and from the knowledge I have in life, the experience I have garnered in marriage, I’m now using it to advise younger couples. Nigerian men seldom appreciate the value of their wives. I was talking to a man the other day, he came to my office and we got talking. He started telling me what people have been saying about his wife. I counseled him to remove third parties from his marriage and marry his wife. That she would eventually become what he wants her to be. He obeyed and today he is enjoying his marriage. Men need to understand their wives and know that they are weaker vessels. After all, the Bible made us to know that women are weaker vessels.  And any man who fails to understand that the Bible says he is the head of his family is making a grievous mistake.  But that does not mean you have to be saying it all the time, reminding your wife you are the head of the family at the slightest provocation.

Why is it not proper to do so?

No man should always hammer it hard that he is the head whenever he is provoked in his marriage. We women already know you are the head. Don’t sing it like a song for goodness sake. The more you tell your wife that you are a man and the head of the family, it begins to make less meaning to her. She sees you as a baby. So the men should stop telling us this, we already know. Don’t tell a virtuous woman that you are a man, she already knows that. You are a man, you don’t announce it. When you over do it, you become the weaker vessel, the woman becomes the stronger one. That’s the way I see it. This is one of the things that has crashed so many marriages because in the process proving to your  wife that you are the man, you may begin to beat her and throw her things away.